Don’t Build A Wall

How many caregivers are building walls around themselves?

Is that a crazy question? In my opinion, it’s not crazy at all. I’ll tell you why.

People just starting out in the role of caregiving have this idea that they can do it themselves. I know this because I was one of those people.

Caregiving is not a solo position. It takes a village to walk through this role. If you think I’m exaggerating, talk to other caregivers who have been in this situation for a few years. You’ll quickly find out your situation is very similar to what they have been experiencing.

Building a wall around yourself is prideful. It’s not helpful. It causes more stress. It can make you physically ill. Why would you want to do this to yourself?

You might say, “Well my situation is completely different, you just don’t understand.”

Your situation might be different in some ways, but the bottom line is, dementia is dementia and there is a common thread no matter what your situation might be.

I’ve said in previous posts that it’s OKAY to ask for help. Just because you are now a caregiver doesn’t mean you’re an expert in the field. Research, talk to healthcare providers in this particular field, meet with other caregivers, reach out to organizations like the Alzheimer’s Association and other dementia related organizations. That’s why they are there. . .TO HELP YOU.

Building a wall around yourself might feel like a security blanket; it’s not, it’s damaging.

This is how it’s damaging:

  • Your health delcines
  • Your family feels the neglect
  • Your job starts to suffer
  • You isolate yourself from friends/family
  • You become afraid of everything especially the unknown
  • You have trust issues

The list can go on, but these are just a few of some of the damaging affects.

Put aside your pride. Reach out for help. If someone offers help, accept it. This will become your Village.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.”

Psalms 34:4





  1. chattykerry · October 22, 2019

    You are absolutely correct. I have been in this position with a mentally ill mother and mother in law with Alzheimer’s. There is a common thread to looking after frail, older relatives even if they don’t have memory issues. Sharing with others helps us all. At my age, friends are all going through a similar situation. Humor can be amazingly soothing. My mum battled with her equally mentally ill elderly neighbor about their shared hedge (and the evil sparrows) – give me strength! My mum in law was found on the garage roof (doing repairs?) but somehow she made it to 86 with two future broken hips. The neighbor rescued her off the garage roof. God bless good neighbors and friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ThePineyChemist · October 30, 2019

    I enjoyed your post! As they say, “Hind sight is 20/20!” I was my grandmother’s 24-hour caregiver for 11 years. Reflecting on my experience, I now see overlooked signs of caregiver stress and burnout. When discussing care with future caregivers, I stress the importance of self-care and strong support systems. Caregiving is emotionally and physically draining, but very rewarding! Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Linda Jenkins · October 31, 2019

    So true about the hind sight. Thank you for sharing your experiences with other caregivers!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s