Caregiving Independence vs. Interdependence

After an amazing sermon at my church this past Sunday on independence and interdependence it dawned on me that this information really applies to a Caregiver.

Independence is when you think you don’t need anyone; you can do this alone. Interdependence is knowing you cannot do this alone. Recognize it’s better for you as the caregiver to shake off the pride and let others help you in whatever way they can.

Independence can cause arguments because you won’t give up the idea you actually do need all the help you can get. When family or friends offer and you keep turning them down they might get a little angry at the fact you won’t let them be one of your caregiving rescuers.

Why do caregivers do that? I did it in my early years of caregiving. It wasn’t that I thought I was Superwoman, but I didn’t feel right asking other people to step into my world and experience the turmoil I was going through. Dumb! Really dumb!!

What is your family for if not to help you in times of need? What are your real friends for if not to step in and give you some respite time?

There are no “heroes ” in any of this.

There has to be interdependence to make it through the days, weeks, months and years as a caregiver. Interdependence is having faith that these people offering their help will indeed be your angels, your saving grace.

Why would a caregiver turn down another set of hands to help with the every day chores that are piling up because you’re running your loved one to doctor’s appointments?

Why in the world would you turn down the opportunity to actually have some quiet time to yourself?

When was the last time you were able to take a nice long walk and not worry about your loved one? And when was the last time you were able to take a nice long bath or shower without any interruptions?

Start to re-evaluate your situation. If you have family and friends who offer to help out, start saying “yes” to them. If you don’t have family or friends that are able to be of help, then talk to someone in the healthcare field, they can direct you to the right sources.

Let interdependence be part of your “new” thinking. You won’t regret it.

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